Dad sends 9 and 13-year-old kids to boarding school 10 miles away right before they lost their mother, stepmom demands they come home 2 years later despite their wishes: 'They finally felt their boarding school was home to them.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 3, 2025 8:00 PM EST

She's acting like an evil stepmother.

It's a common trope in movies, TV shows, and books that boarding schools are places that uninterested parents send their kids away to because they don't want to deal with them. That is undoubtedly an overgeneralization. There are feeder boarding schools throughout the United States where nearly all of the student body get into an Ivy League or equivalent university. I'm sure many loving and caring parents would send their children to a school like that if they had the financial means to do so. Also, it's notable that most boarding school students do not attend from the ages of 8 to 18. Most of them begin when they're in high school and are better equipped to emotionally cope with being away from their parents for extended periods of time. Heck, they might even appreciate their relative independence compared to their peers who attend public or private high schools. 

Every comically exaggerated stereotype contains a grain of truth. Bad parents sending their children away to boarding school because they are rejecting their presence does happen, and the damage that comes from it may never be repaired.

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  • National Trust Montacute House in England
    via Einar H. Reynis

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The stepmom in this story can't see the forest for the trees. All she can think about is her husband and her baby, while her stepchildren are alienated from their father and would rather stay at boarding school for the rest of their schooling than go back home.

  • Am I wrong for asking that my stepchildren's schooling costs be cut because we have a baby on the way?

    My (27F) stepkids go to a boarding school 10 miles from our home that allow for both day students and students who board there.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • My husband, (this is before he met me) switched them from day students to boarding there 2 years ago when his late wife was dying from cancer.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • He is a doctor, so it was a cruel mockery of all he was to have to watch his wife spend the last year of her life in excruciating pain.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • When the last months came, my husband had all but emotionally wasted away, and school administration helped transition my stepkids (15M, 11F) from being day students to boarding school students.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • They were furious at him for having done that at first, and when my husband and I started dating, sometimes he'd put the phone on speaker and I'd hear the bitterness from both kids about being away from home.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • A girl in a school uniform standing in a hallway
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • But then time passed and the complaints mercifully stopped. I understand I have to earn their trust and respect, and am willing to wait as long as I need to to get that.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • However, I have seen texts to their dad where they have said it is hard to really respect me and I can't help but think their living situation is to blame.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • Black metal bunk bed
    via Marcus Loke

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • If they are away from home, and calling the other boarding students. quasi siblings, and their dorm parent a beloved aunt and therapist rolled into one, then they have no incentive to not emotionally detach from their family at home.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • I recently found out I am pregnant. However, now that we're married with a child on the way, my husband has said he'll defer to me regarding family matters.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • I was raised in a Catholic family where frugality is important. My mom always said "Just because an expense wouldn't make a dent in your bank account doesn't mean you should spend that money if it's not necessary." My husband does have money- he has owned pain clinics for years and recently opened up a medical spa.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • However, just because we have the money doesn't mean we should pay for boarding school. My husband has finished grieving and wants to look towards the future as a united family.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • So I said that my stepkids should move back in with us. The boarding school thing was supposed to be temporary.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • We would save a whole lot of money and in my experience, the bonding I did with siblings came from helping care for them.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • I told my husband this and he agreed. We spoke with school administration to figure out what we needed to do.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • My stepkids were furious. Saying they had found a safe place with their classmates and this was not our decision.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • My husband told them he agreed and it was time to come home. They accused him of abandoning them, and then changing his mind when they finally felt their boarding school was home to them.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • They then turned on me and snapped that I was overstepping my boundaries. My husband interjected and said to apologize for their disrespect and I had a right to input about our family.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • AITA? This isn't just about money. This is about family and wanting them to bond with their new sibling.
    via u/Throwawaye_1725
  • YTA Cinaedus_Perversus Your step-kids have been disregarded every step of the way. They are hurt and feel betrayed and deserted. And now you're heaping it on by once again ignoring their wishes and wants. That's strike one. You want to uproot their entire lives just because you find frugality important. In other words, you put adhering to an arbitrary value above the wellbeing of the kids. That's strike two. You want the kids to bond with and help care for their new step- sibling. Seems to me yo
    via u/Cinaedus_Perversus
  • KurosakiOnepiece If you weren't pregnant would you have wanted them home? I bet not
    via u/KurosakiOnepiece
  • Electronic_Fox_6383 "The bonding I did with siblings came from helping care for them." So, let's not get it twisted. You're after live-in child care and are upending their now-settled lives for your own gain. YTA a million times over. If what's best for your stepchildren is actually important to you, leave them where they are.
    via u/Electronic_Fox_6383
  • CarcosaDweller You husband is a monster and you don't sound much better. YTA, these poor kids finally managed to find the support that was completely lacking from their father and you now want to rip that away so you can make them free babysitters.
    via u/CarcosaDweller
  • YTA Fit-Wrongdoer333 What an AH. Your husband sounds like a bad father, too.
    via u/Fit-Wrongdoer333
  • celticmusebooks This isn't just about money. This is about family and wanting them to bond with their new sibling. AND YET: I was raised in a Catholic family where frugality is important. My mom always said " Just because an expense wouldn't make a dent in your bank account doesn't mean you should spend that money if it's not necessary." My husband does have money-he has owned pain clinics for years and recently opened up a medical spa. However, just because we have the money doesn't mean we sho
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • rosebud-2911 Have you even made an effort to get to know them? They are going to resent you. Their Mom passed away 2 years ago and their dad is already remarried with a kid on the way. Then you make comments about being frugal? Have you even sat them down and asked what they wanted? YTA you and your husband, who - sounds like a shitty father
    via u/rosebud-2911
  • One_Independence4921 Why did you come here? People are not going to be on you or your husbands side. He abandoned them and you want to parentify them. Both of you are awful.
    via u/One_Independence4921
  • [deleted] You have seriously overstepped, so back the fuck up. The kids were abandoned by their father because he couldn't deal with them and dumped them on others. There is no way in hell you're going to wave a magic wand and suddenly become Mom unless of course you're vying to become Mommy Dearest and win the Joan Crawford Mother of the Year award. Let your husband manage his kids and stay the fuck in your lane. It will cause so many more problems. Do you really want angry, resentful strange t
    via u/[deleted]
  • Right_Bee_9809 Oh my God, these children aren't people, they're just pawns or props in your life. I want you here, I want you there, I want you away from home, I want you at home.. whatever's convenient for me at the moment. You are both absolutely disgusting and I hope those children never speak to you again, the moment that they are old enough to stop. That poor innocent baby YTA and I genuinely wish there were a higher category, like monster
    via u/Right_Bee_9809

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boarding school school kids brother siblings stepmom bad parenting private school bad parents parenting dad sister Parenting Fail children Parenting FAILS
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